Exams are around the corner, and my mind is at a blank at what to post.
So all i'm gonna do is to wish everyone good luck in their upcoming poly exams and whatever exams you may have.
Gonna have to work hard over the next 2 weeks and i might not have the time to blog here.
But please do not forget me! I'm just MIA, not KIA :)
I shall be back. Thanks everyone for their support!!!
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Swiss 4e2'10
Yeap. This post is for you guys.
I don't think i have ever realise how much you all meant to me until recently when i start thinking back about the memories we had together.
So here is a post, for you all.
So here is a post, for you all.
I remembered how i was irritating, throwing tantrums everyday and not being attentive in class.
I remember the times when you all tell me, "People get addicted to maple, dota, but you get addicted to band."
I remember that on my birthday Xiuming, Shermin, Keyu made a card for me, telling me to have confidence in myself, telling me that i rock at conducting the band.
Our class was a mix of all types of people. We had the nerds, the cool, the cute, the ah bengs, the ah lians, and our DA JIE Ms Wu :D
We had the best mix of teachers.
Hell, we had the best mix of everything.
We stood together as one when we met with the worst situations.
We were the for each other in the times leading up to O-Levels.
We have been on tour together, had class outing together, chalet together and everything that a class could do together.
We definitely have been through more then anyone could have imagined as a class.
Yea, its true, i was often teased in class and ignored by you people, but still, when i was downcasted and lost, talking to you all helped.
You all never turned me away or ignore me.
I realised it was my own problem that made it hard for me to fit into the class.
I realised that i have failed to treasure you guys.
Yea, i find it hard to make new friends now in tietary education, and i don't really know why.
To be frank, you guys from Swiss, and my juniors and seniors from Swiss are the only true friends i have now.
Thanks for the memories Swiss 4e2'10!
I will never forget you guys.
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
We stood together as one when we met with the worst situations.
We were the for each other in the times leading up to O-Levels.
We have been on tour together, had class outing together, chalet together and everything that a class could do together.
We definitely have been through more then anyone could have imagined as a class.
Yea, its true, i was often teased in class and ignored by you people, but still, when i was downcasted and lost, talking to you all helped.
You all never turned me away or ignore me.
I realised it was my own problem that made it hard for me to fit into the class.
I realised that i have failed to treasure you guys.
Yea, i find it hard to make new friends now in tietary education, and i don't really know why.
To be frank, you guys from Swiss, and my juniors and seniors from Swiss are the only true friends i have now.
Thanks for the memories Swiss 4e2'10!
I will never forget you guys.
And i hope,
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
Monday, 12 November 2012
Amazing Grace
When will you ever understand, the pain of being me.
When will you ever see, the pain of my personality.
When will you ever feel, the pain of my aching heart.
When will you ever...
I'm not the easiest person to understand, and i'm definitely not the best son any parent would hope for.
I only hope for a world that can understand me, a world that is fair.
Yet i know it will never happen.
The world that we live in, everyone there is out to kill.
It's no longer survival of the fittest, it is the survival of the most cunning.
Yet there are those with the best support from friends and family that will come up on top and over those cunning people.
This world is no longer fair, and i'm one of those who want to escape from the reality of this cruel world.
I need to realise this cruel fact, that i live in this world.
I need to face it, don't i...
I don't have much to say today.
Mentally and Physically, i feel more than horrible.
I'm tired, and i really cannot carry on and take control anymore.
I'm lost... but nevertheless, i leave with this today...
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved, a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now i see.
When will you ever see, the pain of my personality.
When will you ever feel, the pain of my aching heart.
When will you ever...
I'm not the easiest person to understand, and i'm definitely not the best son any parent would hope for.
I only hope for a world that can understand me, a world that is fair.
Yet i know it will never happen.
The world that we live in, everyone there is out to kill.
It's no longer survival of the fittest, it is the survival of the most cunning.
Yet there are those with the best support from friends and family that will come up on top and over those cunning people.
This world is no longer fair, and i'm one of those who want to escape from the reality of this cruel world.
I need to realise this cruel fact, that i live in this world.
I need to face it, don't i...
I don't have much to say today.
Mentally and Physically, i feel more than horrible.
I'm tired, and i really cannot carry on and take control anymore.
I'm lost... but nevertheless, i leave with this today...
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved, a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now i see.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Taking Control
"A lot of people spend valuable time in their lives focusing on their pasts. I have. I could probably spoil your week if i reviewed the first 26 years of my life. It was a mess!
When i was 26, i had a guy look at me and tell me that I was the most miserable person he had ever met! he was right. I was plain miserable. He said, "You're always sick!" I didn't have a terminal illness or anything but I always had a backache, headache, or something and i was always broke. He said "Why don't you change it?" Well, as long as I kept focusing on what led me to this point, I was going to create more of the same. He said "Let it go! Forgive it!"
-Bob Proctor
Letting go of the past and moving forward?
Definitely easier said then done. There are so many in the world, so many who are super stressed over work and studies. They make mistakes and love to harp on the issue for a long long time.
They go back to the past and look at the unchangeable. They ask themselves what i could have done better, what i should have not done, so on and so forth. These people fail to look into the future.
They failed to let go of their past. They bare grudges against people whom have made their lives miserable and refuse to move on into the future. They lock up their feelings inside of themselves and forget the bigger picture.
I happen to be a part of that group of people. I happen to be one of those that let my past haunt me and refused to let it out. I happen to be that loser that doesn't want to take control of my life.
I forget that i'm only 18 and still have to spend 50 more years at least on this place. I forget that there is a bigger picture behind my perfect painting of my life, that this bigger picture is forever changing. I forget that i can actually control how this picture will be painted.
I refused to look into the big picture and hope to go back to the good times. I refused to admit that at the end of the Journey, the pain that i experienced through the path will be nothing compared to the glory of my gains. I refused to let go, forgive, and move on into the future.
I want to stay in a comfort zone and not step out into the unknown. I want the problems that i have to disappear without me doing anything. I want to be at the top of the world and be in control.
All these that i happen to be, all those that i forgot, things that i have refused, dreams that i wanted. It lead to what i am now.
This is no longer me. I have lost not only my will, i have lost my character, my confidence, my mind. I am no longer who i used to be, or who i wanted to be.
I have let myself sink so deep i have lost even my Heart and my Soul.
I am going to take control. I will face my problems boldly.
I will stop running away.
Mark my words, because I will find myself once again.
I will become the Thomas Koh i and the world once knew, and be even better.
I will be confident, I will have the will to succeed, and I WILL never let anyone stop me from finding myself again.
Yes, i am now moving on.
Most importantly, i am now Taking Control.
When i was 26, i had a guy look at me and tell me that I was the most miserable person he had ever met! he was right. I was plain miserable. He said, "You're always sick!" I didn't have a terminal illness or anything but I always had a backache, headache, or something and i was always broke. He said "Why don't you change it?" Well, as long as I kept focusing on what led me to this point, I was going to create more of the same. He said "Let it go! Forgive it!"
-Bob Proctor
Letting go of the past and moving forward?
Definitely easier said then done. There are so many in the world, so many who are super stressed over work and studies. They make mistakes and love to harp on the issue for a long long time.
They go back to the past and look at the unchangeable. They ask themselves what i could have done better, what i should have not done, so on and so forth. These people fail to look into the future.
They failed to let go of their past. They bare grudges against people whom have made their lives miserable and refuse to move on into the future. They lock up their feelings inside of themselves and forget the bigger picture.
I happen to be a part of that group of people. I happen to be one of those that let my past haunt me and refused to let it out. I happen to be that loser that doesn't want to take control of my life.
I forget that i'm only 18 and still have to spend 50 more years at least on this place. I forget that there is a bigger picture behind my perfect painting of my life, that this bigger picture is forever changing. I forget that i can actually control how this picture will be painted.
I refused to look into the big picture and hope to go back to the good times. I refused to admit that at the end of the Journey, the pain that i experienced through the path will be nothing compared to the glory of my gains. I refused to let go, forgive, and move on into the future.
I want to stay in a comfort zone and not step out into the unknown. I want the problems that i have to disappear without me doing anything. I want to be at the top of the world and be in control.
All these that i happen to be, all those that i forgot, things that i have refused, dreams that i wanted. It lead to what i am now.
This is no longer me. I have lost not only my will, i have lost my character, my confidence, my mind. I am no longer who i used to be, or who i wanted to be.
I have let myself sink so deep i have lost even my Heart and my Soul.
I am going to take control. I will face my problems boldly.
I will stop running away.
Mark my words, because I will find myself once again.
I will become the Thomas Koh i and the world once knew, and be even better.
I will be confident, I will have the will to succeed, and I WILL never let anyone stop me from finding myself again.
Yes, i am now moving on.
Most importantly, i am now Taking Control.
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope Lyrics
Beneath the
veil of starry sky,
As cold as
winter's darkest night.
It's there
you sleep, silent and deep,
You're all
alone.
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
Across the lonely silent fields
A little light began to shine,
It shines on and on
I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed,
You laughed like a child,
Happy and carefree
It's all familiar and yet so far,
That's the future's promise for you and me.
One day on a green and shiny morn',
One day we will finally make it through
Cause in this sky
So dark with winter,
We still have to believe it's true
Fields of hope.
A gentle touch
A loving brush
Those things I still search for
A prayer in
A melody
It goes on and on
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
One vanishes, one dies
And all in all
It starts again
A never ending cycle
One day on a green and shining morn'
Through all the long nights we've been fighting for
There lies a place
Far from disgrace
Where we won't have to hide from the world again
Now there lies a deep love within my heart
A yearn to protect you and keep you warm
It's all familiar and yet so far,
It's made for the peace of mind
Fields of hope
Natsukashiku mada tooi
Yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
Across the lonely silent fields
A little light began to shine,
It shines on and on
I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed,
You laughed like a child,
Happy and carefree
It's all familiar and yet so far,
That's the future's promise for you and me.
One day on a green and shiny morn',
One day we will finally make it through
Cause in this sky
So dark with winter,
We still have to believe it's true
Fields of hope.
A gentle touch
A loving brush
Those things I still search for
A prayer in
A melody
It goes on and on
I sing the prayer's
Soft melody
One vanishes, one dies
And all in all
It starts again
A never ending cycle
One day on a green and shining morn'
Through all the long nights we've been fighting for
There lies a place
Far from disgrace
Where we won't have to hide from the world again
Now there lies a deep love within my heart
A yearn to protect you and keep you warm
It's all familiar and yet so far,
It's made for the peace of mind
Fields of hope
Natsukashiku mada tooi
Yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope
Many will ask for the reason why i shared this song. And many will ask where the song actually comes from.
If you all guessed that it is the very song that you are hearing now as you read this blog, then i will have to tell you that you 100% correct.
The song Fields of Hope originated from the anime series Gundam Seed Destiny. I have talked about this series before and mentioned about the life lessons this anime series will teach us. To have finally found the original English lyrics of this piece made me understand even more about the reason i love this piece of music.
Everyone's life ends at a point in their Journey. One Vanishes, one dies, even as you sing a prayer's soft melody.
Yet we must know that hope will never die, and the power of believing is ever so overwhelming.
Anyone's first step to success is putting in the effort to do the task ahead of you, and most importantly, to believe that you can do it.
To boldly face your fears and to live on and fight all the obstacles in front of you is the true meaning of life.
To treasure your friends and ever so importantly, to treasure yourself, is the true meaning of finding happiness.
And to live life and walk proudly into the future with your friends, looking forward and striding along the path, the Journey of Life, through the Fields of hope, we all can make it in life.
At the end of the day, we will live a life of joy, fighting obstacles bravely alongside our friends.
Till the day our time is up, we as the human race, we as the world, together with our friends, must live without regrets...
I've chosen to stay strong, and i hope everyone out there who's as depressed as i am because of family problems, to know that you still have your friends, that will bring you through the Fields of Hope.
Stay strong people!
Monday, 22 October 2012
The Journey, of life
Life is a Journey, a long Journey all the way to your very last breath. Every single moment you spent breathing, the Journey will continue.
Even when you're asleep, you're subconsciously thinking about what is going on, you're subconsciously thinking about how you will take the next step in your Journey.
And through your Journey to the end, there will be those who are there for you, and those who are not.
There will be those who try hard to be a part of your great Journey of Life, and those who thinks you're just a pushover.
Yet in this great Journey, you have to know who you are and never forget to picture yourself as a success story. There will be those who stay in your life to stop you from taking the next step, but don't ever let them stop you. I quote from Dr Seuss
I quote from Dr Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
My true friends has never mind me for who i am. Never care for this idiot who makes countless mistakes on his Journey to find and define himself, never mind me for being this Freak product of nature, never mind me for being outspoken and bad tempered.
But who are my true friends? I may believe and hold them close to my heart, yet do they do the same? I have constantly asked myself the same question over and over. And in the past few months, i discovered that they will do the same.
Friendship will never be stronger than Kinship. Only True Friendship will ever overwhelm this barrier that separate ever so clearly your friends and family. Your True Friends will be there for you and always care for you no matter how much shit you go through with them, no matter how many times you've turned your back on them, True Friends will always be there to caught you and pick you up, so that you don't fall to the deepest of depths beyond any form of redemption.
I pray for the bond to never break. Those who i regard as my True Friends, i've promised you before, and i will never forget, that through my Journey of Life, i will always be there for you, even at your darkest hour, i will only be a step away from you spiritually. I will risk my life for you all because you matter to me, because my journey will never be the same if i have not met you, and because you have been there for me in a way you will never imagine.
And to you Friends, Family and those whom I'm missing dearly even after your passing, Thank You. Thank you for letting me feel your presence. Thank you for bringing me on my Journey of Life and being a piece of it. Thank you for all the unforgettable memories.
Thank you, because you've all Raised Me Up.
Thank you for being my strength.
I will never survive without you all.
And remember,
You Raised Me Up,
To More Than I Can Be.
Thursday, 30 August 2012
A Pathetic Realisation
Past few days have been horrible...
I'm losing everything again.
I feel insane, lost, afriad and fearful of the future.
I don't know what will happen to me, i have lost confidence in myself, i no longer know who i am anymore.
I'm even scared of myself... Such a loser.
I'm just a pathetic lonely guy, no girlfriend to love, no friends to hang out with, no one to really share my problems and my fear.
And then i ask myself why i am in this situation.
All the answers come flowing into me.
Its simple. I'm a pathetic guy.
I fail at love, i dont dare to make new friends and rather stay in my own comfort zone, and those closest around me can't be there for me all the time.
I can't possibly expect my closest friends to only have one friend.
I'm such a worthless, pathetic loner.
I make stupid mistakes that i should not be making.
I create problems that are non-existent be talking to myself too much and thinking too much.
I pull myself into depression without even knowing.
Losing weight, losing sleep, losing interest in life.
I might as well just die.
I often ask myself this question
And i think i already know the answer.
It's definitely "No".
Without even asking, already in my head i know there are people who wish i could just disappear out of their lives.
Even if i have people who still want to see me around, i feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Someone who cannot do anything right. Someone that does not deserve to be breathing the air on this Earth. Someone who deserves to be in hell...
Worthless piece of shit...
I'm losing everything again.
I feel insane, lost, afriad and fearful of the future.
I don't know what will happen to me, i have lost confidence in myself, i no longer know who i am anymore.
I'm even scared of myself... Such a loser.
I'm just a pathetic lonely guy, no girlfriend to love, no friends to hang out with, no one to really share my problems and my fear.
And then i ask myself why i am in this situation.
All the answers come flowing into me.
Its simple. I'm a pathetic guy.
I fail at love, i dont dare to make new friends and rather stay in my own comfort zone, and those closest around me can't be there for me all the time.
I can't possibly expect my closest friends to only have one friend.
I'm such a worthless, pathetic loner.
I make stupid mistakes that i should not be making.
I create problems that are non-existent be talking to myself too much and thinking too much.
I pull myself into depression without even knowing.
Losing weight, losing sleep, losing interest in life.
I might as well just die.
I often ask myself this question
And i think i already know the answer.
It's definitely "No".
Without even asking, already in my head i know there are people who wish i could just disappear out of their lives.
Even if i have people who still want to see me around, i feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Someone who cannot do anything right. Someone that does not deserve to be breathing the air on this Earth. Someone who deserves to be in hell...
Worthless piece of shit...
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Nanny McPhee's 5 lessons
I know, i know.
It's been a long time since i have posted.
Got so little going on in my life it became too stress for me to handle.
Yea... Kinda stupid right?
But yes... Once again at the brink of disaster.
Before i slept last night, i got overwhelmed by fear.
The fear of not being able to pass my modules, let alone do well in them.
Everytime i look at myself and ask myself, why can't i resist the temptation of playing?
Why can't i force myself to just put in a little more effort to study.
Yet every single time i ask myself why, i just cannot figure it out.
And then i remembered watching a movie on channel 5 the other day.
The movie - Nanny McPhee Returns.
In the movie, 5 naughty children learned to work together, learned to share, learned to be brave, and most of all, learn to have a little faith.
They are taught in 5 seperate lesson, and here they are.
Lesson #1: To stop fighting
To stop fighting. It means a lot of things.
Fighting with siblings, friends, classmates, people you do not like, and even war between country. All this kind of "activities" gives out negative energy. Perhaps even fighting with yourself. Yes that would suck. To have your brain telling yourself to play games instead of studying and then to have your heart going "you need to study god dammit!" And then the guilt of not having studied hard enough after an exam... All this... it has made me a very negative person.
After watching the movie, and then watching it again just yesterday made me think hard... I know i have to stop all this fighting with myself. And not only that, i cannot stand it when people fight with each other. As small as the matter is, once you start fighting, no one knows what will happen. Someone will always get hurt in a way or the other. Be it mentally or physically, it always leaves a mark behind, and no one would really know the impact it has on that person... One day, when everyone stops fighting, this world will definitely become a better place, a place where everyone is happy, a place where we all learn to smile.
Lesson #2: To share
Learning to share might be the hardest thing on Earth. No one can deny the fact that if you have the best you ever had, and then someone comes along and ask, "Hey can i borrow it for one day?" its usually hard to say, "Well okay." Yet learning to share is a fantastic feeling. Sharing with someone who doesn't have something, and then seeing a smile on their faces could be the best feeling on Earth. It just like helping someone out and then getting a "Thank You" in return. You will definitely feel better. Learning to share not only help yourself, but it helps others feel better as well.
Yea the world definitely need to learn to share. We may have all the resources we need to create the perfect home, the perfect conditions for ourselves to live in, but we can never be happy if we have no one to share it with. Happiness can never be bought no matter how rich one is, and one of the ways to make sure you're happy, and so are the people around you, is to make sure you share.
Lesson #3: To work together
Working together. Gosh, i don't even need to say anything for this. In ANY organisation, without teamwork, you are literally planning to fail. Not working together simply means that you will never get anything done... It is that simple. Dont try working alone in the coporate world out there, because trust me, you will get eaten. Alive.
And then i asked myself, how does this help me? You see... if i cannot study alone, then maybe the problem is that i need to work with people. Study with people. People who can study. Maybe it'll help me... Although its already too late now, i'm just hoping that i will pull through and i will be able to make it this time so that i will still have the chance to try studying with my friends... I do not wanna be stuck alone out there.
Lesson #4: To be brave
To be brave, to be strong in everything you do. To not fear the dangers that looms ahead. To not fear every step that you take. To learn to bravely conquer all our greatest fears. That is being brave. Even if you meet with failure, instead of living in a dream that is bound to engulf you, stand up bravely and overcome your failures. Even if it means take a small step at a time, do it, because if you are brave enough to take that first small step, you will overcome all failures in your life.
I need to be brave, to fight for what i think is right. I need to fight for myself. I must make sure that i can study hard and fight my temptations bravely. I know it is painful, and its the same for all of us. To fight against something that we might not wanna do, to try to make sure that we can get it going. But facing it bravely is something we all have to do. If i were to fail, i know i will definitely break down and cry, yet if i allow myself to sink into a dream of my own, i will never recover from my failure. I choose to be brave, and to conquer my worst fears.
Lesson #5: To have faith
Nanny McPhee's last lesson, to have faith. It is one that i have always believed in. Yes. Whatever it is, no matter how bad the situation, have a little faith that things will turn out alright. Having faith push oneself on to do better. If you lose faith in life, you will definitely die a slow and painful death. Our body reacts with what we are thinking. Why do you think doctors always try to encourage their patients to be strong? It is obvious enough.
Believing that things will turn out right is the first step to success, as i have always said. If you don't believe you can do it, you wont be able to do anything right. You will lose all hope and not be able to push yourself further. Having faith is just as important as the rest of the 4 lessons. It is the most important thing in anyone's life. Dont ever, lose faith. I know that things will be better one day. So if you are in a load of shit now, just push on. One day everything will be fine :)
Thats all i have now.
Nanny McPhee Returns is definitely a very awesome movie that everyone should watch. If you haven watch it, please do, because it touched my heart. I'm sure it will touch yours too if you watch it.
It's been a long time since i have posted.
Got so little going on in my life it became too stress for me to handle.
Yea... Kinda stupid right?
But yes... Once again at the brink of disaster.
Before i slept last night, i got overwhelmed by fear.
The fear of not being able to pass my modules, let alone do well in them.
Everytime i look at myself and ask myself, why can't i resist the temptation of playing?
Why can't i force myself to just put in a little more effort to study.
Yet every single time i ask myself why, i just cannot figure it out.
And then i remembered watching a movie on channel 5 the other day.
The movie - Nanny McPhee Returns.
In the movie, 5 naughty children learned to work together, learned to share, learned to be brave, and most of all, learn to have a little faith.
They are taught in 5 seperate lesson, and here they are.
To stop fighting. It means a lot of things.
Fighting with siblings, friends, classmates, people you do not like, and even war between country. All this kind of "activities" gives out negative energy. Perhaps even fighting with yourself. Yes that would suck. To have your brain telling yourself to play games instead of studying and then to have your heart going "you need to study god dammit!" And then the guilt of not having studied hard enough after an exam... All this... it has made me a very negative person.
After watching the movie, and then watching it again just yesterday made me think hard... I know i have to stop all this fighting with myself. And not only that, i cannot stand it when people fight with each other. As small as the matter is, once you start fighting, no one knows what will happen. Someone will always get hurt in a way or the other. Be it mentally or physically, it always leaves a mark behind, and no one would really know the impact it has on that person... One day, when everyone stops fighting, this world will definitely become a better place, a place where everyone is happy, a place where we all learn to smile.
Learning to share might be the hardest thing on Earth. No one can deny the fact that if you have the best you ever had, and then someone comes along and ask, "Hey can i borrow it for one day?" its usually hard to say, "Well okay." Yet learning to share is a fantastic feeling. Sharing with someone who doesn't have something, and then seeing a smile on their faces could be the best feeling on Earth. It just like helping someone out and then getting a "Thank You" in return. You will definitely feel better. Learning to share not only help yourself, but it helps others feel better as well.
Yea the world definitely need to learn to share. We may have all the resources we need to create the perfect home, the perfect conditions for ourselves to live in, but we can never be happy if we have no one to share it with. Happiness can never be bought no matter how rich one is, and one of the ways to make sure you're happy, and so are the people around you, is to make sure you share.
Working together. Gosh, i don't even need to say anything for this. In ANY organisation, without teamwork, you are literally planning to fail. Not working together simply means that you will never get anything done... It is that simple. Dont try working alone in the coporate world out there, because trust me, you will get eaten. Alive.
And then i asked myself, how does this help me? You see... if i cannot study alone, then maybe the problem is that i need to work with people. Study with people. People who can study. Maybe it'll help me... Although its already too late now, i'm just hoping that i will pull through and i will be able to make it this time so that i will still have the chance to try studying with my friends... I do not wanna be stuck alone out there.
To be brave, to be strong in everything you do. To not fear the dangers that looms ahead. To not fear every step that you take. To learn to bravely conquer all our greatest fears. That is being brave. Even if you meet with failure, instead of living in a dream that is bound to engulf you, stand up bravely and overcome your failures. Even if it means take a small step at a time, do it, because if you are brave enough to take that first small step, you will overcome all failures in your life.
I need to be brave, to fight for what i think is right. I need to fight for myself. I must make sure that i can study hard and fight my temptations bravely. I know it is painful, and its the same for all of us. To fight against something that we might not wanna do, to try to make sure that we can get it going. But facing it bravely is something we all have to do. If i were to fail, i know i will definitely break down and cry, yet if i allow myself to sink into a dream of my own, i will never recover from my failure. I choose to be brave, and to conquer my worst fears.
Nanny McPhee's last lesson, to have faith. It is one that i have always believed in. Yes. Whatever it is, no matter how bad the situation, have a little faith that things will turn out alright. Having faith push oneself on to do better. If you lose faith in life, you will definitely die a slow and painful death. Our body reacts with what we are thinking. Why do you think doctors always try to encourage their patients to be strong? It is obvious enough.
Believing that things will turn out right is the first step to success, as i have always said. If you don't believe you can do it, you wont be able to do anything right. You will lose all hope and not be able to push yourself further. Having faith is just as important as the rest of the 4 lessons. It is the most important thing in anyone's life. Dont ever, lose faith. I know that things will be better one day. So if you are in a load of shit now, just push on. One day everything will be fine :)
Thats all i have now.
Nanny McPhee Returns is definitely a very awesome movie that everyone should watch. If you haven watch it, please do, because it touched my heart. I'm sure it will touch yours too if you watch it.
Friday, 10 August 2012
This is Home
Kit Chan - Home
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore
Chorus:
This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home
When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore
Repeat Chorus x2
For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home
END
Happy Birthday Singapore!
This is honestly, the best NDP Song ever.
Compare it to the rest of them, this was the simplest to catch and it had so much meaning.
Its a song about a place we call home.
Yea i know, i have been complaining about the stress level of studying and about spending in Singapore, but if we all just sit down sometimes and put everything away, we realise that we have many things that other countries do not have.
Most of us have a roof over our head.
Everyone gets a chance at basic primary education.
We have friends from many different cultures.
We do not face civil war, nor do we have an problems with our water and electricity.
Yea we have an ageing population and decreasing birth rate, but we all have friends to talk to and share our times with.
Sure we have people doing drugs in Singapore, but i'm sure it is the minority and that there are people in Singapore who are willing to help those doing drugs to stop.
We may have an extremely small Universal Studios, but everyone can go and visit it just by saving up a little every week.
At the very least we have entertainment just a 1 hours ride away.
How about safety in Singapore?
Chances of us getting robbed is not high at all.
We have take an evening stroll in the park downstair in peace and chill out to the evening breeze.
We can go out with friends and have fun in the afternoon and not be worried about getting home a little late.
Yea Singapore is definitely a stressful country to live in, yet it is our Singapore.
This is where we belong, and i will definitely love Singapore forever even if i choose to leave this country and migrate elsewhere.
It is just like the song "Home", because i know, that no matter how far i may go, i will always miss this country.
Happy Birthday again Singapore.
PS: I had a great birthday at home :) yea that was what the countdown was for. HAHA :D
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore
Chorus:
This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home
When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore
Repeat Chorus x2
For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home
END
Happy Birthday Singapore!
This is honestly, the best NDP Song ever.
Compare it to the rest of them, this was the simplest to catch and it had so much meaning.
Its a song about a place we call home.
Yea i know, i have been complaining about the stress level of studying and about spending in Singapore, but if we all just sit down sometimes and put everything away, we realise that we have many things that other countries do not have.
Most of us have a roof over our head.
Everyone gets a chance at basic primary education.
We have friends from many different cultures.
We do not face civil war, nor do we have an problems with our water and electricity.
Yea we have an ageing population and decreasing birth rate, but we all have friends to talk to and share our times with.
Sure we have people doing drugs in Singapore, but i'm sure it is the minority and that there are people in Singapore who are willing to help those doing drugs to stop.
We may have an extremely small Universal Studios, but everyone can go and visit it just by saving up a little every week.
At the very least we have entertainment just a 1 hours ride away.
How about safety in Singapore?
Chances of us getting robbed is not high at all.
We have take an evening stroll in the park downstair in peace and chill out to the evening breeze.
We can go out with friends and have fun in the afternoon and not be worried about getting home a little late.
Yea Singapore is definitely a stressful country to live in, yet it is our Singapore.
This is where we belong, and i will definitely love Singapore forever even if i choose to leave this country and migrate elsewhere.
It is just like the song "Home", because i know, that no matter how far i may go, i will always miss this country.
Happy Birthday again Singapore.
PS: I had a great birthday at home :) yea that was what the countdown was for. HAHA :D
Saturday, 4 August 2012
2 days to go
2 days to go.
What will happen on that day itself?
I honestly have no idea.
Worst day ever, or a day to remember?
2 days to go.
One paper down and 5 more to go.
I have confidence in none of them.
As much as i'm stressed out thinking about it, i just can't get myself to put in the effort, to go and revise.
I just can't put my heart into something i do not like to do.
And yet, it is what that may determine my future.
If i fail even one of the modules i'm finished...
I'll have to force myself again i guess...
2 days to go.
I have already lived so long.
All the bittersweet memories that comes back to me.
All the times when i was teased, bullied...
I'm a changed person for sure.
But in many ways, i find myself worthless.
I just can't study...
But that is all that matters in this dam country.
I'll have to try my best to revise tonight.
One module at a time.
I can do this.
I will never give up.
I will believe.
I will be positive...
What will happen on that day itself?
I honestly have no idea.
Worst day ever, or a day to remember?
2 days to go.
One paper down and 5 more to go.
I have confidence in none of them.
As much as i'm stressed out thinking about it, i just can't get myself to put in the effort, to go and revise.
I just can't put my heart into something i do not like to do.
And yet, it is what that may determine my future.
If i fail even one of the modules i'm finished...
I'll have to force myself again i guess...
2 days to go.
I have already lived so long.
All the bittersweet memories that comes back to me.
All the times when i was teased, bullied...
I'm a changed person for sure.
But in many ways, i find myself worthless.
I just can't study...
But that is all that matters in this dam country.
I'll have to try my best to revise tonight.
One module at a time.
I can do this.
I will never give up.
I will believe.
I will be positive...
Sunday, 29 July 2012
8 Days to go
Yeap. It is now the end of my week.
Intense weekend really...
I still have to finish up a few things before i can sleep.
Got to get my formal attire for the presentation tomorrow as well.
And then there is the maths quiz... I'll have to revise that quickly.
Tough weeks ahead honestly.
Its 8 Days to my special day...
But i have so many test coming up.
A lot to catch up for sure.
But i know i will make it!
Just hope that this year will be a little different...
Hope everything will go well.
May the force be with me!
And of course, thanks for all those who are visiting my blog!
May the force be with you all!
Remember, no matter how much pain you are going through, how little hope there seem to be in whatever you do, push on.
I believe in everyone and i believe that everyone will make it.
Intense weekend really...
I still have to finish up a few things before i can sleep.
Got to get my formal attire for the presentation tomorrow as well.
And then there is the maths quiz... I'll have to revise that quickly.
Tough weeks ahead honestly.
Its 8 Days to my special day...
But i have so many test coming up.
A lot to catch up for sure.
But i know i will make it!
Just hope that this year will be a little different...
Hope everything will go well.
May the force be with me!
And of course, thanks for all those who are visiting my blog!
May the force be with you all!
Remember, no matter how much pain you are going through, how little hope there seem to be in whatever you do, push on.
I believe in everyone and i believe that everyone will make it.
PUSH ON!
NEVER GIVE UP!
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Hakuna Matata
My Song of the Week is already playing :D
The very song you hear when you enter this blog (assuming that you do not have any pop-up blocker or disabled Java) is Hakuna Matata.
I chose the one from the original movie, The Lion King.
SONG LRYICS
The very song you hear when you enter this blog (assuming that you do not have any pop-up blocker or disabled Java) is Hakuna Matata.
I chose the one from the original movie, The Lion King.
SONG LRYICS
Hakuna
Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna
Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no
worries for the rest of your days
It's our
problem-free philosophy
Hakuna
Matata!
Hakuna
Matata?
Yeah. It's
our motto!
What's a
motto?
Nothing.
What's a-motto with you?
Those two
words will solve all your problems
That's right.
Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he
was a young warthog...
When I was a
young wart hog
He found his
aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could
clear the savannah after every meal
I'm a
sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt
that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the
shame
He was
ashamed
Thought of
changin' my name
What's in a
name?
And I got
downhearted
How did ya
feel?
Everytime
that I...
Hey! Pumbaa!
Not in front of the kids!
Oh. Sorry
Hakuna
Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna
Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no
worries for the rest of your days
It's our
problem-free philosophy
Hakuna
Matata!
Hakuna
Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna
Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna
Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna
Matata! Hakuna--
It means no
worries for the rest of your days
It's our
problem-free philosophy
Hakuna
Matata!
(Repeats)
I say
"Hakuna"
I say
"Matata"
<END>
Every song
has a meaning
I chose this
song for this week.
It's simple.
We Singaporeans live in a stressful envoirnment.
We students
have to deal with the constant onslaught of homework and countless exams.
Although we
cannot deny the fact that there is often sufficient time for us to do our work,
to revise for our exams, it is an undeniable fact that we get stressed out.
We often dont
have time to sit down and just watch a movie to just chat with our friends.
Adults can
hardly stop working now in our tough society.
My mum often say
that it is impossible to get a job now without a proper Full Time University
degree.
I cannot help
but feel just so super sad about it.
I look at
America, where people do what they love for a living.
Well at least
60% of the country do, i believe.
Their economy
may be in a crsis, yet their people are united as one.
They have
each other to lean on if they are out of breath.
They can
depend on one another easily since they have a community to live with.
Yea there'll
definitely be quarrels among the community.
But it is
obvious, they live with Hakuna Matata in mind.
A problem
free philosophy.
A stress free
life.
No worries
for the rest of your life.
Isn't that
something everyone kinda wish to have?
Think about
it from another point of view.
Perhaps it is
impossible to have a problem free life, yet what would life be without
happiness?
If you had
all the money in the world, yet you have no one to talk to, no one to share
your wealth with, no one to be happy with, what would be the point of living?
So to all
those people feeling downcasted out there, for whatever reason, stop.
Hakuna
Matata! Face every new day with pride and be brave to take on all the
challenges.
Live itself
is a gift, dont waste it.
Have a great
day!
Look forward to tomorrow, because i believe in
a better tomorrow :D
Saturday, 21 July 2012
There will be miracles
With the blink of an eye, the second term of my 1st year 2 semester is coming to an end.
What have i accomplished this term? Or maybe this sem as a whole, what have i accomplished?
I think i can safely say that i haven't accomplished anything...
I failed 5 of 6 common test papers
Yea i manage to get myself out of the deep shit i gotten myself into.
I dare say that for now, i have passed all of my modules.
But the final exams are coming.
Believeing that i'll make it will not be enough...
Miracles don't just happen.
You not only have to believe, you have to work for it.
You need not force yourself to study 24/7, but make sure that you put in the effort to study when you are studying.
What am i talking about....
Believing? I don't even know how to believe anymore....
I believed that i'll make it. This whole semester, i spent so much time believing.
I believed that i will make it.
I believed that i'm not worthless.
I believed that i will be able to do what i like.
I believed i'll be good in music.
I believed i can play games well and not be a noob...
Now, i don't know what to believe anymore...
I'm not good at studies, i'm not good at music, i'm not good at games...
I feel insecure when i try to make new friends, and i feel so depressed because i'm worried of being betrayed...
I only trust those i hold close to my heart, those i truly love as my best friends...
Yet i'm worried that i'll wake up one morning to find them all gone, to find that i'm forgotten because of how worthless i am...
I try my best to finish up my projects, and i try not to get distracted.
I put in my best, yet i know very well it is less than enough.
Every time i tell myself, "You got to believe, you know things will get better, you got to try your best now, or you'll never get anyway."
But things ain't getting better...
I thought they will, but i get distracted by the TV when i'm in a game.
I become a burden because of my own weakness for being unable to concentrate.
I thought they will, but when it comes to projects, i just wanna slack.
I become worthless because of my own weakness for not being able to overcome myself, to defeat the devil within.
I believed things will get better, but they are not...
What am i to look forward to?
An empty future?
I don't know anymore.
I lost myself in the process of trying to find a better me...
I tried to be everything i'm not, and now i'm gett from bad to worst.
I have it better than many others.
I have a roof over my head every night when i close my eyes.
I have pocket money every month for me to spend.
I have a piano at home.
I don't have to worry about unstable internet connection.
I don't have to worry about the electricity bills or water bills.
I never have to worry about food.
I only ask for myself to have the strength to overcome all odds.
I hope to make miracles happen.
I don't want to be a worthless bastard.
I want to have friends to talk to.
I don't want to be just playing my piano at home.
I want to be able to perform with a band and have a standing ovation.
I don't want to be a noob in games.
I want to strive to be the best.
At the end of the day, i still believe.
I still believe that one day, i will be the best, that i will wake up.
Wake up from this dream of mine to inspire others.
To inspire others and tell them stories of what a failure i was and how i overcomed all odds.
All odds are against me now, i know.
Yet i know very well, that i'm a strong peron.
A strong person that will crash through all my obstacles and come out victorious.
At the end of the day, i believe.
And when i believe, i know that one of these days, i will pull through with my own strength and my beliefs.
And on that day, there will, be miracles
What have i accomplished this term? Or maybe this sem as a whole, what have i accomplished?
I think i can safely say that i haven't accomplished anything...
I failed 5 of 6 common test papers
Yea i manage to get myself out of the deep shit i gotten myself into.
I dare say that for now, i have passed all of my modules.
But the final exams are coming.
Believeing that i'll make it will not be enough...
Miracles don't just happen.
You not only have to believe, you have to work for it.
You need not force yourself to study 24/7, but make sure that you put in the effort to study when you are studying.
What am i talking about....
Believing? I don't even know how to believe anymore....
I believed that i'll make it. This whole semester, i spent so much time believing.
I believed that i will make it.
I believed that i'm not worthless.
I believed that i will be able to do what i like.
I believed i'll be good in music.
I believed i can play games well and not be a noob...
Now, i don't know what to believe anymore...
I'm not good at studies, i'm not good at music, i'm not good at games...
I feel insecure when i try to make new friends, and i feel so depressed because i'm worried of being betrayed...
I only trust those i hold close to my heart, those i truly love as my best friends...
Yet i'm worried that i'll wake up one morning to find them all gone, to find that i'm forgotten because of how worthless i am...
I try my best to finish up my projects, and i try not to get distracted.
I put in my best, yet i know very well it is less than enough.
Every time i tell myself, "You got to believe, you know things will get better, you got to try your best now, or you'll never get anyway."
I thought they will, but i get distracted by the TV when i'm in a game.
I become a burden because of my own weakness for being unable to concentrate.
I thought they will, but when it comes to projects, i just wanna slack.
I become worthless because of my own weakness for not being able to overcome myself, to defeat the devil within.
I believed things will get better, but they are not...
What am i to look forward to?
An empty future?
I don't know anymore.
I lost myself in the process of trying to find a better me...
I tried to be everything i'm not, and now i'm gett from bad to worst.
I have it better than many others.
I have a roof over my head every night when i close my eyes.
I have pocket money every month for me to spend.
I have a piano at home.
I don't have to worry about unstable internet connection.
I don't have to worry about the electricity bills or water bills.
I never have to worry about food.
What else could i ask for?
I only ask for myself to have the strength to overcome all odds.
I hope to make miracles happen.
I don't want to be a worthless bastard.
I want to have friends to talk to.
I don't want to be just playing my piano at home.
I want to be able to perform with a band and have a standing ovation.
I don't want to be a noob in games.
I want to strive to be the best.
Is this too much to ask from myself?
At the end of the day, i still believe.
I still believe that one day, i will be the best, that i will wake up.
Wake up from this dream of mine to inspire others.
To inspire others and tell them stories of what a failure i was and how i overcomed all odds.
All odds are against me now, i know.
Yet i know very well, that i'm a strong peron.
A strong person that will crash through all my obstacles and come out victorious.
At the end of the day, i believe.
And when i believe, i know that one of these days, i will pull through with my own strength and my beliefs.
And on that day, there will, be miracles
Monday, 18 June 2012
Holidays coming to an end
The short term break is coming to an end again.
What have i done this holiday?
Nothing much. I spent most of it chilling out and recovering from my poor health.
Yea. That's most of it.
Trying to gear myself up for a though term ahead.
I know it will be tough. I have loads of catching up to do.
And there is music too. I need to catch up with my Grade 8 pieces. They are all running out of my brain.
I'm still dreaming of being a musician for life and earn from it.
I know i can once i put my heart into it.
In any case, here is something about life :)
True story about life.
Morale?
Change things that are in your control, and live with those things you can't.
Makes living much more relaxed.
Makes one happier in life.
What have i done this holiday?
Nothing much. I spent most of it chilling out and recovering from my poor health.
Yea. That's most of it.
Trying to gear myself up for a though term ahead.
I know it will be tough. I have loads of catching up to do.
And there is music too. I need to catch up with my Grade 8 pieces. They are all running out of my brain.
I'm still dreaming of being a musician for life and earn from it.
I know i can once i put my heart into it.
In any case, here is something about life :)
True story about life.
Morale?
Change things that are in your control, and live with those things you can't.
Makes living much more relaxed.
Makes one happier in life.
Thursday, 31 May 2012
EXPLOIT EVERY WEAKNESS!
Darius - The Hand of Noxus
He's here!
A champion that is said to be able to take down even the toughest tanks!
Garen (i hate him... thats why i can only think of him... everytime killing my poor Ahri and ripping my tails off -.-|||) shall be no more, and those heros like Volibear that makes you go, "WHAT THE F**K MAN HOW DID I DIE" shall no longer be feared.
Imagine the epic-ness of people going "WTF, how u killed me?!" in a PvP?!
Even your most skilled enemies will fear you.
I SO WANT TO USE THIS CHAMPION TO OWN OTHERS!
Imagine Darius going: "I will make you bleed!"
That would be so cool!!!
LOVE THE SKIN OF DARIUS TOO!
CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY IT!
REALLY HOPE I WIN SOMETHING!
AND I REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO PLAYING THIS CHAMPION!
To the Riot Team
THANKS FOR A FANTASTIC CHAMPION!
Saturday, 12 May 2012
It's Saturday
It's Saturday again.
Yes, again.
At this point of time in my life, i ask myself at times, what am i doing?
What do i believe in?
What am i living for?
Even if i were to understand my true purpose in my life, what am i supposed to do?
I'm starting to lose faith, i'm starting to lose hope, i'm starting to think that i canot believe anymore.
Everyone has dreams, and then there are others who think that they are constantly living in a dream.
Inception as they call it, a dream made up of fragments of your memories.
Yet are all of these real?
The question is rhetorical, and the answer, obvious.
People think that it would be easier to just end their lives, to release themselves from all the pain they are going through, to escape into another realm.
They want to escape reality instead of facing it.
I, am one of those people.
And it is on these days, on these kind of mornings that i think back at my life, and ask myself, "Why the hell am i so useless?"
I often think to myself, why do i keep running instead of trying to move on to the next step in my life?
Why do i keep looking back?
Why am i being such a loser?
I often ask myself if i have anyone to lean on if i need support in my life, if anyone at all would be there for me.
I often lose myself trying to find the answer to that question.
And it is only this morning, that i realise, if i don't take control of my own life, i will lose everything that i already have.
If i don't wake up from this dream i have put myself into a little over a year ago, i will not survive.
Yes, again.
At this point of time in my life, i ask myself at times, what am i doing?
What do i believe in?
What am i living for?
Even if i were to understand my true purpose in my life, what am i supposed to do?
I'm starting to lose faith, i'm starting to lose hope, i'm starting to think that i canot believe anymore.
Everyone has dreams, and then there are others who think that they are constantly living in a dream.
Inception as they call it, a dream made up of fragments of your memories.
Yet are all of these real?
The question is rhetorical, and the answer, obvious.
People think that it would be easier to just end their lives, to release themselves from all the pain they are going through, to escape into another realm.
They want to escape reality instead of facing it.
I, am one of those people.
And it is on these days, on these kind of mornings that i think back at my life, and ask myself, "Why the hell am i so useless?"
I often think to myself, why do i keep running instead of trying to move on to the next step in my life?
Why do i keep looking back?
Why am i being such a loser?
I often ask myself if i have anyone to lean on if i need support in my life, if anyone at all would be there for me.
I often lose myself trying to find the answer to that question.
And it is only this morning, that i realise, if i don't take control of my own life, i will lose everything that i already have.
If i don't wake up from this dream i have put myself into a little over a year ago, i will not survive.
Yet having said that, am i ready to face reality?
Am i strong enough to do this right?
Can i overcome my greatest enemy, myself?
Can I?
Thursday, 10 May 2012
A story of the bank, TIME
Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account
each morning
with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance
you failed
to use during the day.
What would you do? Draw
out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank.
It's name is...
TIME
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost,
whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance.
It allows no over draft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no drawing against "tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get
from it the utmost
in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today.
To realise the value of ONE YEAR
Ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH
Ask a mother who has given birth to a
premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK
Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR
Ask the lovers who are waiting to
meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE
Ask a person who just missed a
train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND
Ask someone who just avoided an
accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND
Ask the person who won a silver
medal at the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have!
And treasure it more because you
shared it with someone special,
special enough to spend your time with.
Remember time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why
its called the present.
My thought?
People today waste too much time thinking instead of acting.
That includes me.
And i will make a change, make use of every millisecond i have from today.
For sure it will be hard to keep to my promise that i wont be wasting any more time from today, but it would be worth the try to at least put in the effort to make it work.
That's what i'll be doing.
How about you?
PS: Adapted story from the internet. But i have to thank Bryce for making me remember that i wanted to post this long ago. Feel free to visit his blog @ http://magicsouls.blogspot.com
Monday, 7 May 2012
Thursday, 3 May 2012
A sweet lesson on patience.
A NYC Taxi driver wrote:
I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
My reflection on the story:
People often get too caught up with their daily lives and simply forget to slow down once in a while, to just enjoy the little things that matters, the little things that seems so insignificant yet could mean so much to you when you sit down to think about it.
To all my readers:
Slow down your life and think about your life.
Reflect on it.
You might just discover something
you never thought you had.
you never thought you had.
So think about it.
Have a good day people!
And from Ellen, be kind to one another.
Goodbye!
Thursday, 19 April 2012
The Story of Kyle
The following is an adapted story and is by no means created by me.
I'm only sharing it :)
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my
class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was
carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring
home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before, but we talked all the way home, and I carried his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.
We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach -- but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Friends are really important.
Power of one's actions.
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before, but we talked all the way home, and I carried his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.
We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach -- but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life.
Friends are really important.
Who knows, perhaps without someone that u love/hate in your life now, you might not even be who you are.
Power of one's actions.
IT COULD CHANGE LIVES
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Story of life
Married or not you should read this...
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Adapted from facebook.
And really... This is about life.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Adapted from facebook.
And really... This is about life.
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