giving up?

Haven cried so hard in so long...
I ask myself so many times, what is the whole point of giving everyone so much when u are in a corner suffering on ur own...
All that i've been through for the past few years...
How much i have bottled up...

Just when i'm gonna try and finally settle down, you go and tear everything apart...

I hate being the only child... I have no one to look up to, and no one to go to for help or whatever...
When everything fails, i don't have any siblings to fall back on...

To all my close friends out there, I thank you all for standing beside me and walking through my dark path with me.
I know you all can't be around for me all the time, but at the least u all were with me when i most needed you.
I thank you all...

I just hope i can pull through another year like this...
I really don't know how much more of this i can take...

2 and a half years???

This is 100% true...

This is the very reason why i say it sucks to be the only child...

Because as much as ur parents love you, when u say "I'm okay."

They always assume tha u really are....

And already... in the past 2 and a half ++ years...

My life has been a freaking roller coaster...

The bad things comes one after another...

I just don't know why...

I ask myself sometimes...

I give so much to everyone else... and often... i never think about myself...

Yet so many bad things happen to me...

But i'm sure i'll stay strong and pull thru this... for sure...

Because i know that i've got support from Bryce and Chuan Han :D

And many others that will care about me if i'm dying (No i'm not dying yet and i don't think i'll die that soon :D)...

Even if they cant really give me a hug when i need one 

(And i really do need one now...)

i know that i always have them to talk to :)

And i already feel much better with that...

Its all i ever need...

And it might just be all i ever want...

A group of my most trusted friends...

Its already enough....

3 weeks passed...

I know it has been some time since i have posted...
My dear readers... (IF THERE ARE ANY LOL)
I'm sorry...

But for the past 2-3 weeks... so much has happened...
Perhaps even too much...
School started...
Band has resumed...
Family stuff...

All of it... It has troubled me...
At times, i don't even know what i'm doing...
The past 2-3weeks... had pasted on a live day by day basis...

And i really hate myself for doing that....
I ask myself... what the shyt am i doing... i need a good GPA this sem...

All i could hope for is that everything will be back to normal now :D

Thankfully though, it has gone back to normal...
:D

So yar :D cool :D
Looking forward to lessons later...
IT HAD BETTER BE FUN...

One week to school

The new semester is gonna start!!!
Kinda nervous, because i know this semester, my GPA needs to be really good.
It need to be 4.0!!!

But so much things happened.
In the past few weeks, i realised that i have a lot to catch up on my piano.
Thats one thing for sure.
I have already signed up for the exam...
I really wanna get a merit for Grade 8.

And over the last few weeks, i realised how important friendship is to me.
I realised i literally cannot survive without my Friends.
Being at home and staring at the computer is definitely not fun at all...
And having to practise piano all the time is not fun too...

But we will still have to live on with it.
Like i have been saying so many times...
This is what life is about.

We got to get it going...

I got to get myself going...
And i will.
For everyone that i know and for those who cares about me
I won't let anyone down...
I mustn't...

Its usually the case...

Flashbacks....
If you break up with ur girlfriend/boyfriend....
The pain... of thinking about the happy memories in the past....
It hurts...

Real cool movie! JUST BEING RANDOM

Life as it is

If only life can be like this in Singapore...
Sometimes, people are so caught up with work that they forget the basic needs of life...
Like those who are so in love with money that they try to fight their way up higher and higher and try to earn more everyday...
They forget about everything else that is important...
Their relationship, their family, relatives and friends....

And then there are the nerds that study like mad just to try and pass all their exams...
Just like those in JC who are currently fighting to pass their promos...
They don't have time to do all those things in the picture...

And you come to ask yourself, what is living life?
If you have all the money in the world, will you be happy?
We can make that choice, but what about students in Singapore, they are often not happy with what they are doing.
I dare not say that all are unhappy with what is going on...
Yes there are people in Singapore who like the education system for what it has given to every child in Singapore.
And i appreciate it as well.
Because it gives every child in Singapore some basic knowledge of the world, ensuring that we will not drown in the society of Singapore... at the very least...
Nevertheless, people often forget to ask themselves, "Am i really happy with what i have, am i really happy with my life?"

I guess that is something that we all have to start asking ourselves, and wonder what is really good for us.
Living a stress out lifestyle is real bad for health...
And i really feel that everything on that list is important...

1.Live
Life itself is a gift... Live life like there is no tomorrow, as some would say... Cherish every moment you have with yourself and the people around you. Learn whatever you can from your teachers... Be glad that you are learning something

2.Laugh
Its a great stress reliever... You should NOT live a day without laughing...

3.Love
Love everyone around you, because they are there for you, making you laugh and making sure you won't do something stupid... Making sure that you are fine when you feel down...

4.Discover the World
The world itself is an amazing place... And i would wanna discover more of it before i die too... :)

5. Take photos
yes take photos.... As much as you can... They are great things that you wanna keep... All the beautiful memories....

Trust me, this is worth thinking about...
And trust me, i have a lot of thinking to do as well...

Mixture of feelings

I hope to chase my dreams...
I want to take to the sky...
I want to be able to look at myself and say to myself, "Great! You have done a good job!"

I want to learn music, i want a PhD in music. ( Yes for real i want it)
But is it really what i want?
I have talked to myself so many times about this.
But sometimes i just don't know what i really want...

For sure i want Swiss Winds to become the top band in Singapore again.
But what about myself?
I want to give them all the help i can, but what do i want to do for myself?

And then the is the usual Wayang with my parents...
I already cancelled one Piano lesson last week...
And now u tell me i haven practised enough...
What you want me to cancel another lesson?
Might as well just stop my piano lessons....

Music is the only thing that i'm doing now that i really really love...
And you seem to want to take it from me too....
Yes maybe i have not practised enough....
But the last few days i have practised more then 5 hours already...

Yar it is little for someone who is having a holiday....
I'll definitely practise more and more over the next few days...
But i need that dam lesson...
I don't know my fingering and stuff....
HOW TO PRACTISE....

Well... At least i have my juniors to talk to...
I must never forget that...
And my friends too...
I guess thats a plus point in my life then...

Its a new month...

It's a new month, and i thought i would post about something that has been on my mind for more then a full year...

When you are in love, and your opposite is totally in love with you too, love DOES become a War...

It was so easy to start a relationship, and it still is...

One of you will just take the initiative to confess, and if you both feel the same way, thats it.

A relationship starts...

Throughout the relationship, each other will have many disagreements with each other, but just as the picture has showed us, once ur IN a relationship, thats it, it's really hard to end it, no matter how hard you try.

When i was in Secondary school, i saw so many couples, and nearly all the time, the boy will be super sensitive, and the girl will be even more sensitive.

The boy is always trying to be over-protective of the girl, thinking that any other boy would snatch her away from him. And then he will get into a quarrel with her and ask her why she just so love to hang with other boys... 

Seen it a lot a lot...

And the girl will be really sensitive because the boy is always trying to be with her. Going everything she goes. And the girl will be screaming at the boy, "Can you don't be so protective a not?!"

I have seen a lot of relationships of this kind in school and even more in Band when i was still was Swiss Winds...

But in the relationships that really blossom, the couple has mutual trust and understanding that there is much more then just the two of them in the world.

They know that they need to take care of their other friends as well, be it if it's the boy-friends or girl-friends.

They know that they have started a relationship, and that they are in this war together, and they know how hard it is to end it...

They know that they will always love each other and know that they will always be there for each other, so it really doesn't matter if they hang out with others. 

Because they know that they truly love each other...

And THIS, is true love...

This, is life as it should be...

Remember, to all the couples out there:
"To love is nothing...
To be loved is something...
To love and be loved, is everything..."

Bare that in mind, and you'll live a better tomorrow. :D

Pencil: I'm sorry 
Eraser: For What? You didn't do anything wrong.


Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever i made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.


Eraser: That's true. But i don't really mind. you see, i was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, i know i'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, i'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad...


Adapted from: http://alfafriends.blogspot.com/

This is a really cool post...
A really inspirational one...
Imagine the eraser as our mother/father...
Because it really describes what they do...

The little things that matters

Stumbled upon this picture when i was looking through facebook.
Its from Zhenming's wall :)

But the point is, this poster is really true.

How many times have we used the two words "Just Kidding" just to try to escape from something we have said and realised that we should not have said anything...
And we often say the truth even if we may be "Just Kidding"

And then the 3 words, "I Don't Know".
Another great example.
Ask yourselves, how many time did you say "I don't Know" just to avoid answering a question.
In the case of the teenagers nowadays, people use "I Don't Know" to shy away from the question: "YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/ BOYFRIEND RIGHT?" when you could have just given a solid answer.
Or for the adults, if your boss ask you to do something that you don't wanna do, you'll try to shake it off, by saying "O That? I DON'T KNOW how to do that!"
But the truth behind it is that you actually know how to do the job.

How about the "I Don't Care"?
Lets just talk about Love and Family.
In love, when either side goes, "I Don't Care about you anymore!!", more often then not, they will regret and feel guilty for saying that to the opposite side.
And many couples forget the little bit of emotion behind that "I Don't Care" is what brought them together in the first place.
And for families, even if your parents go "I don't care about you anymore!!", they actually still do.
Even if its the slightest bit, they still do care.
More importantly, they are the ones who will flock to your side in the quickest time when you need help...

And then there is "It's ok"
So think anyone in a relationship which just fell apart will not feel the hurt?
They'll go "It's okay." or "I'll get over it soon", but deep down in the heart, they are screaming in pain, asking why did it have to go that way.
How about finding out that people have been gossiping about you behind your back...
Sure you'll go " It's ok", but u'll go home in pain, asking yourself, "Why are people doing that?"
And maybe you're someone who gets bullied everyday, and your true friends come around to try to comfort you. But you go "It's ok", and then deep down you ask yourself... "Am i really okay?"

All this little things are what that really matters in life, what that makes Human what we are.
And remember, the usual "Just kidding, I Don't Know, I don't care, It's okay"...
It could mean more then what it really seems...
And this is life...

This poster really taught me something though...
We must never take anything for granted...
Because some times, it might just be too late to go "Just kidding, I Don't Know, I don't care, It's okay".
Learn to cherish life, because you'll never get a second chance in living it over.

So everyone out there, cherish life and everything that you have before you, because you can only learn from your mistake, you can never go back and try to undo what is already done.
Learn from your mistakes, and more importantly, move on.
I'm sure there's always a better tomorrow :)

Life

I'm feeling really horrible today...

Its just a combination of things that even music can't solve.
I feel tired because i haven been out of the house for some time other then the visit to the hospital yesterday to visit grandma...
My body is aching everywhere, and on top of that, i worried for my second semester...
Worried that i cannot make it and things like that...

I guess this is the world today... especially in Singapore
You can hardly survive in the Singapore working society without a proper certificate.
Even teaching piano, it's best to have a cert so that you can proof that you are qualified to teach.

I guess i'll have to work my ass off for my second semester in Ngee Ann, or not i wont be able to pull up my GPA...
But at the same time, i still wanna spend time with Swiss Winds...
It is the only band that i have joined in my life, that made me feel at home, that i really belonged.
Maybe it was because of the amount of effort that i have put into the band.
Maybe its all the bonds that i have made with my juniors there, that i find it so hard to break away.
And it would really break my heart if the band cannot get better.

Nevertheless, i'll have to look at what happens.
One step at a time!
I guess that's life.
Don't think too much, try your best, and everything will work out one day.
At least i believe it will.

Life is full of miracles, i know it is.
And i'm gonna believe that I CAN...

A new week

Its a new week, and i look back at what has passed and ask myself what i'm doing...
I spent time practising on the piano, trying to perfect my exam pieces...
I got to know of another now song, which was out in 2010...
LOL...

And i have been talking about that a lot...
To the Sky - Owl City
The meaning behind that song, is so amazing.
That song, talks about life, as it is.

A picture paints a thousand words...
And a song like that paints the pictures that are taken in life...

Its really what i love about music...
And looking back at the past week, i realised that it has been a really musical one.

1. Designed a new background for my blog
2. Found a wonderful song
3. I keep conducting empty air

Lolz... Musical indeed.

You see, what i love about music, is that it's an universal language, one that everyone can understand.
Its just like how i listen to Anime music...
Half the time, i don't understand what the song really means.
In fact, most of the time.
But there is this song, Fields of Hope.
It's a really special song, and i feel the energy behind it every time i listen to it.
And i'm sure many feels the same...

When i'm feeling down, i listen to music...
When i feel like dying, i listen to music...
Most importantly, when i'm being teased or what-so-ever, i'll listen to music...
Maybe play my piano, or flute.

I just love music.
And i would have done it for life if i could...
But all that is in the future....

And looking at what i am, and where i am at the moment, i guess i better take one step at a time...

Chasing Your Dreams

I'm sitting here on my chair, thinking to myself, what is going on in my life.
Trying to look up and down, left and right, to find out what is going in my life.
But sometimes, i just don't seem to understand...

Every time i try to look into it and try to understand what life is about, i just don't get it.
I look at my life and try to understand parts of it, things like why am i who i am, but sometimes i just end up being much more confused.
Although i know that i should already appreciate what i have and cherish what i own, i still seek to understand why some things are the way it is... I just wish to know...

And then there is the nearly always huge question mark over my head...
What to do when i feel so lost?
Who can i turn to for help?
Trust me, this is the times when u wish that u are not the only child and you have an elder sister or brother to talk to...
To give u a hug and tell u everything is gonna be alright and that they have been through all of it before.
To tell u how its done, or at least listen to you and don't be like parents who just goes on and on, nagging and trying to make things better in a way that you really hate....

And then there is the issue of the ever so complicated matter, LOVE...
As much as everyone and anyone would say that it's really simple, it because really complicated over time...
Couples who are just so in love with each other will grow so sensitive of each other that they quarrel over the smallest issue...
Yes i see it happening in my very own home everyday...
And i look at it and go, "Gosh... when i get a GF... what would it be like man..."

And then as i do what many singaporeans are really capable of doing, complaining about all this things, i must realise and knock myself into the real world, because THIS is life.
Love, Problems arrising from work and studies, Conflicts between friends...
All of it, ITS LIFE...

And as much as its just so hard to overcome every obstacle of this journey there will be day, a day when everyone in this world will have to Take to The Sky... Just like the Owls of Ga'Hoole, just like Soren, life is about realising our ambitions and dreams, and reaching out to them, no matter how far away it seems. And its about never giving up, even when you're in stormy seas or harsh deserts, push on.

This is life, life as i know it, and as much as i find it difficult, i will, and i must overcome my difficulties... 

Horrible timetable

Horrible timetable really....

I look and it, my tuesdays and fridays nearly full...
Haiz... why of all days, it must be this two days....
Well... at least i should be glad that i didn't fail a module...
I thought i did... but i really din!
And though it pulled my GPA down, it still made me feel much better.

Reflecting back to the past, i realised how stupid i was, not to pay attention in class...
I din sleep enough as i should have, and...
So many other things...

Now, as my holiday comes to an end, the only thing that i'm thinking about...
Swiss Winds...
I really love the band, and honestly, i'll give anything to jump back into it...
But i know that its impossible.... I'm only hoping that i'll have enough time..
And i hope that everything will fall into place soon enough for me.

My dream of that alumni band, i want it fulfilled.

And i hope that i'll be able to pick up my GPA again...
I really hope so...

Halfway through the holidays...

Halfway through the dam holidays, but somehow, as weird it seems, i wish its already over...
Nothing seems to be going my way this holiday... Nothing...
I don't know why, but i feel like junk....

I'm like all over the place...
I don't know what i'm doing half the time...
And i'm definitely not loving the holiday this time...
So many things happened...
All the Wayang in my life is coming back...
And i really don't like it... but there isn't much i can do too...

Lazy to find a proper job, and then always get nagged by parents...
And then practise piano also cannot concentrate...

But at the least, i guess i must thank my Swiss Winds juniors for making my day...
TO: Hugo
THANKS BILLION!!!
Starcraft 2 rocks :D

TO: Bryce and Chuan Han
Thanks for everything.
More importantly thanks for spending time with me...
Or not i'll be dead by now, i'm sure of it

TO: NP Friends
Yea u all played a part too :D
Thanks for talking to me :D

TO: Swiss Cottage juniors and Friends
All of u, thanks for saying hi when i go back to Swiss :D
To my juniors taking O-Levels this year, i wish u all all the best!!!
Get good grade :D and u'll never regret it!
And then to the sec 3s, all the best for ur SA2
AND THE SEC 2s and 1s too :D all the best!!! :D

Okay back to prastising piano and starcraft 2, and perhaps blackshot :D

What am i doing?!

I feel like a wreck...
I feel like shit...
I don't know what is wrong with me...

I'm on the risk of failing a module, and i totally don't like the feeling of that.
I don't understand what is wrong with me...
I'm supposed to love this module, but the more i'm into it, the more i hate it...
Listening to Avril Lavigne's When you're gone...

Very literally, its like as if the love for this course is gone...
And i'm here crying out to it, to come back.
I need it back, that love of the module.
But nothing seems to be working...

I told myself before, that i have backup plans... Many of them...
But at this point of time...
None of them are more important than that single module...
Its really been some time since i felt like a wreck like this.
And i'm really lost as to what to do.

Thankfully though, I know that i have my Friends and Juniors there to listen to me...
To be my listening ear...
I have to thank them for that...
Because if not, I think i'll be in a much worst state then i would be...

And as i'm typing this, i realise how strange it is that i mostly feel more at home, when i'm with Swiss Winds, compared to being at home...
I don't even know why i'm like that...
Really blur to what is going on with me...
Cos i'm really lost at this point...

But i guess i'm just being too negative...
Failure is never the end of the road, for anyone...
I must stand up on my feet again, and fight back...
And as Mrs V has just said, "However hard something seems to get through, no tunnels last forever..."
Its something that i definitely have to learn...
Failing at something only means that i have to try harder.
Yea, that is how i have to look at it...
Its the only way i'll get through this storm.

The one, and only way.
Look at that light at the end of that tunnel, and run towards it.
There may be a storm brewing in the tunnel, but the only way out is forward, no to go back in time and find some way out from the back.
Its a sprint that will never be easy, and i may have a few more falls before i get out of the tunnel, but i need to believe that i can do it. And i know that i will.

For sure...

Emotions running wild...

Sometimes i don't understand why i love to just go back to the past...
Its the end of semester 1 and i feel drained out, tired, and everything else...

Just not at all happy...
And i have no idea why...
Perhaps it's because Swiss Winds the band stepping down on 10th September???
Feel so down...
So unlike my character...
I should be extremely happy when it's the holidays
But not this one...

Or maybe i'm just thinking and preoccupying my mind with too many things...
My biggest problem now into my 17th year of life on Earth.
I always love to think too much.
Sometimes i do very unnecessary thinking about things that are not even happening.
Mind running too wild...

I think about the past so often nowadays.
Thinking about Swiss, all the friends and all those jokes and bullying and teasing i had to pull through...
All those tough times i encountered in my secondary school times with band and stuff...

And then after that there is the NDP 2011.
Finally got the chance to be in NDP for once with Swiss Winds...
But it might very well just be the last time... I don't even know if i have enough time next year to go back.

Yea...
Emotions really running wild...
Confused about nearly everything there is.

Stressed out for nothing...
I dont even know what is happening to me now.
Its just like what Min Jiang told me...
I have too much on my plate.
And i obviously cannot finish it...

Haiz...

Confused beyond words....

Its another new month...

So many things happened leading up to this month...
And through all the things that happened, i was listening to many many songs...
More or less, since i'm participating in NDP this year, i started to listen to all the past NDP songs as well...
And it brings back all the past memories from Primary school to Secondary school.

Listening to "Where I Belong" brings back the memories of Primary 1.
Thinking back now once again, o how funny it is to be thinking about it sometimes...
I remember Primary 1 was so crazy...
All my friends, Filbert, Justin... and many more...
The times when i vomit everywhere in school and spill my drinks everywhere in the canteen area...
Lolz...

"Together"
Another NDP song that i simply love.
The meaning in the song is so strong...
Listening to it makes me ask myself why i think of dying sometimes when i have so much to look forward to in Singapore.
And how privileged i am to be able to do something i actually love, music...
How about even being able to study, all the things that so many others are not able to do...

Those two songs really made an impact in me, really.
And then there is "Home".
Probably the most loved Singapore NDP song ever...
Its songs like this that makes me feel at home, where everyone is one big family, and that place is Singapore! :D
Yea i guess you all can say that because of this year's NDP, it made me feel much closer to home...

Kay thats all i have time for....
You see a new month, but i have like tons of overdue homework...
So see you all!!!
I'll be back soon for sure :D

End of the holiday, start of a new term!

Times seems to fly...

Already term 1 is gone, and within 3 weeks terms 2 will fly...
Time really flies...
And this few months really made me think about what is going in my life...
It really made me regret...
In secondary, i complain about having too much homework and no time to enjoy anything.
In fact, i believe that many of my friends did the same...

But moving onto tertiary education really changed how i think about that.
That mindset that secondary school was horrible is really gone now...
And if i actually think back, i think there is so much more that i could have enjoyed...
Thinking back, there were so many times when i could have enjoyed talking to friends and playing Big 2 in class.
I kinda miss the recess times when my so called clique and i will sit down together for recess and then laugh over some gossip or just what happened in class before recess.
So much happy things happened in secondary school that i really never cherished until its gone.
And then there were the times when we rush for band on every tuesday and friday.
O those times were fun... Haha
We (the BLG 2009) used to have a really heavy recess and then we would rush for band like immediately after our lessons end.
O how i miss those times....
And then of course there are the times when u will have to worry about homework...
In secondary school teachers do come after your blood if you don't hand in your homework on time...

And then all the times i spent with my clique on outings and stuff?
Going to the arcade together was so fun.
All those good old times when i could sit down with a strong group of friends to talk to each other after a whole day of lessons and kinda go home together...

Not saying that i don't have friends in Ngee Ann now but i guess its just not the same.
I guess it is in secondary where u form such strong friendship that you can't really let it go.
And then your CCA as well.
It is in secondary school where u get so attached to everything, and then u will find it so hard to let go, because of everything you have gained in secondary school.
I guess i have to say that i'm really wrong to say that i hate my secondary school life.
Because moving into poly life really made me wanna go back into secondary school life and do everything over.
I would have wanted to study harder and to make more friends.
Perhaps even do more for Swiss Winds...

I guess its because life in poly is really different.
U have to pretty much look out for yourself.
Even the school lecturers don't really care about you in Ngee Ann.
Its a totally different life.
Totally not like secondary school.
Really...
Sometimes i would like to go back and do it all over. there would have been so so much that i wanted to change.

Literally, poly life is very much more mature.
And compare that to secondary school life, where u can still be like 25% childish, you can't do that anymore in poly...
And in JC there is really no time to do any of that... No time to think about a life even...
Sometimes for JC people its just homework homework and... homework...

I really don't know what to do sometimes.
I feel so stressed up now a days...
More like i'm mentally tired then physically tired.
I think i really do need some time off, when i can just lie down on my bed and forget about everything... but its half the time not possible at all.

O well, thats all i have time for now... I guess i just needed an avenue to let it all out. I still have so much more to say in fact... But i got to go now...
So well, see u all soon!
I'll be posting again soon for sure :D

End of week, start of another...

To all my readers, trust me, i have thought long and hard before posting this...

So anyways, so much happened during the past week.

Things that i really hope isn't happening are happening...
Even i myself screwed up a few times.
And then sometimes you will ask yourself, hey what am i doing?
Perhaps i should not even do anything at all.
Maybe that would be the best way to let my juniors learn things themselves.
Then again, you come to think about how much you yourself suffered when you didn't have seniors to teach you how to do things...
How lost you felt when you start to take charge and then realize, "O shit, i don't know how to do things what am i going to do."
And u think to yourself, "come on, you don't want ur juniors to feel all that pain..."
The pain one goes through when you got to literally start from scratch.
That pain, its just so... painful.
Yes, it hurt me, to see my junior getting scolded from their teacher, because deep down, no matter how much i try to tell myself that its not my fault, i know that i still have a part to play in whatever they are going through now.
Sometimes i just feel like telling them, "Hey forget it, let me do things, at least if anything goes wrong, i will be the one to get scolded, not you all..."
But i know that they will never learn that way...

So many times already, i have asked myself, what the hell am i doing?
Why is it that of all the people in my batch, i keep going back whenever i have time?
Poly life isn't that simple at all, and JC life, i know isn't better.
I know very well that we all are tight for time and often don't have the time to go back.
But still, i realized that i'm the only one who loves going back...
True, like what Mr Chew said, perhaps its my passion for music, my passion to conduct keeps me going.
But is that the only reason?

Honestly, its not.

Like i have said so many times, my juniors keeps that, spark going in me.
And my desire to try to make things better for my juniors, drives me on as well.
Really, it hurts when you see all the pain your juniors are going through.
And the reason is simply because you know that you have not taught them well.
Yes, i have to admit that i did not do a good job in teaching the sec 4s 2011 of Swiss Winds.
Perhaps it was because i weren't taught by anyone...
But i that did not give me the excuse of not doing a good job...
So, to any of my juniors reading this, i'm sorry.
I know i didn't do good job.
Perhaps i did a good job in running the band, but i'm really very sorry i didn't teach you properly...

And to the sec 3s now, please, find your spark!
I believe in you all, i really do.
But you all need to FIND THAT SPARK!
Then you all can do well!!!
I know it will be tough, it was tough for my batch.
But nevertheless, we pull STRAIGHT through!
And if we can, you all can too!
I know you all can do a good job!
Remember, first step is to believe you can do it,
Then u must find out wad you are doing wrong.
And don't forget to correct your mistakes.
Anything you all don't know, don't ever be afraid to ask!
I will always be there to try to help u all to the best of my ability!!! :D

Mid week! About 3 more weeks to common test!!!

Boy o boy...

Its like mid week already!!!
Vesak Day over already. Went to temple yesterday morning...
Like totally din catch any sleep at all man...
Yesterday, i slept at what, 9a.m.?
And i woke up at 5p.m.
Now like still got so much energy...

Haiz... And also like whole body aching...
AutoCAD the homework also don't know if do correctly.
At least i know it looks like the sketch given to us :D
Feel like going and play L4D2 at this hour...

My first poly common test gonna start soon!!!
Must go and revise too hahaha...
I hope i will do well in it!!!

O O AND ONE MORE THING!!!
I think i will get to go for NDP this year!!!
YAY :D

HAHAHA
Okay thanks for visiting and reading...

I'll post next time.
See u all!!!

Good night!

On a monday, when only poly students are in school...

Boy, General Elections 2011(GE) was a blast to me man.
With history being made with the workers party's win at the aljunied GRC and the whole wayang on nomination day...
But that is really not my concern, to be honest.
I just felt that our foreign affairs minster, George Yeo... Really it is a loss.
Just hope that he can be back in parliment...

Always, into may now.
The first week is like over.
This coming wednesday, i have a test to study for, and to be really honest i don't think i should be here blogging LOL.
But o well, at least there is something to be looking forward to this week.
Swiss Winds band practice resumes on Friday :D ( YAY )
Which means i'm going back for sure, because i'm still trying to get in touch with the school and start the Swiss Winds Alumni band escapade.
Seriously, trying to start a project like this isn't really... simple...
But i feel that its 100% worth it :D
Even though its nearly one year since i left Swiss Winds, i still feel very attached to the CCA...
Perhaps its because of all the ups and downs the band had went through, and how hard we all have worked as a band to try to pick up everything again...
The feeling was great when you see Swiss Winds performing at NDP 2010.
Its just great, to see a band that you were once part of making history as the first secondary school band to perform alongside the SAF Central Band....
Really... even though u're not in it, it just feels wonderful...
And not forgetting my wonderful juniors.
The bond makes it really hard to let go, even though i know very well that the time to let go had already came and gone...

O well, enough of all that.
I'm glad that they are starting band again, because now i have something to look forward to, other than all the poly life u know... all the studying and stuff.
I wont deny the fact that NP band is somewhat fun, but going back to Swiss Winds is definitely much more fun! :D
And the only reason was because of my love for Swiss Winds... Nothing much... :D
Can i ever let go?
I really hope i can...
Its really the first time i have ever felt so attached to a CCA, and i do believe its the last.
Because in Poly, i don't think i have the time to make a difference.
School in year 2 and 3 will definitely be very hectic i believe...
I might not even have the time to go back to Swiss as much...

O well, don't think too far lar hor? :D
See you all soon!

Wad an April...

Wow. Wad an April i had this year!

So many things happens this past month.
School finally started for me! :D
It was quite fun to be really honest!
The first week of school was for orientation.
Quite fun, everyday got free lunch.
Not that the food is really fantastic, but it wasn't really horrible.
And then after all the so called content heavy introduction to all the year 1s(including me), Ngee Ann Poly screened two movies for everyone to watch.
O man the two movies were so so so nice!!!
One was unstoppable, and the other was R.E.D. which is FANTASTICALLY FUNNY!!! :D

Then there was a long holiday. Lolz...
Good Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
And then, it was school!

O boy school...
First day was okay...
Then the second day... I felt like i given back all my physics to Mr Lim...
Which is really bad... :(
Because that means that i have a lot a lot to catch up with... Haiz...
O well, its time to work harder to try and get all my physics back...

AutoCAD was really fun!!!
And then there was the workshop...

O O WORKSHOP :D
Yesterday the teacher showed us how the machines in the workshop can cut things after we put in a programme.
It was really fun to see how the machine cut.... Well not really cut, maybe draw would be a better word?
Yea so the machine draw a double heart on the pieces of material. Yep yep.

So that was my month of April, into the first week of My.
So far school has been really really fun, and i hope it will continue to be like that...
So yea :D

Thats all for today :D
Nothing much more to say.

So, see u soon :D

Disappointment

I wanna know wad went wrong...
I really do...

Comeon lar...
You all are the ones who are killing bands all over Singapore...

Dying to know wad went wrong man...
I really wanna know wad went wrong...

Wow

Hey ppl!
Wow so long no post...

I guess i just had too many things to do ba :D

I'll try my best to post more okay :D

See you all soon

Last minute work...

Boy it has been sometime since i posted.
Just a quick word then
Not time to post because i'm rushing my juniors presents okay?
I'll post again soon!

"Up is Down" week

Boy i had one hell of a week...

And now that the week is coming to an end...

Well lets just highlight a few event? :D

One big thing that happened yesterday... omg...
127 Hours (movie)

THAT 5 MINS WHERE THE LEAD ACTOR LIKE LITERALLY CUT OFF HIS OWN HAND TO SAVE HIS OWN LIFE.....
Omg.... I have NEVER EVER  seen so much blood...
To think that all the blood is fake...
But all together the movie was very inspirational, very emotional movie...

A bit vulgar lar for sure... NC16 yar?
A very nice mixture of the all the things that happens in life...
But the movie shows how much determination is needed to get yourself out of that kind of a situation....
And of course there is the courage that you need to actually do that...

But one lesson learned from the movie...
NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT TELLING SOMEONE...
Cause if you Disappear into thin air.... no one will know where the hell you went....
Now that is not a good thing....

So that was one event... a movie...
the other thing was i reinstalled my Microsoft Flight Simulator X! :D
Now can fly planes again lolz yay!
Haha!!!!

Poly is going to start soon!!!!
But its still far....
1 and 1/2 months away....
O wells...

Thats all for now i guess? :D
See you all soon :D

Eye pain...

HI ALL...

Today, i declare that my eye is killing me lolz...

Anyways tmr nid to go and see doctor...
For my skin thing...

So yar i really got to sleep soon :D

WATCHED SALT TODAY....
I quite like it...
BUT I FREAKING HATE THE ENDING...
ITS LIKE RESIDENT EVIL ONE....
MAKE THE MOVIE LIKE GOT HEAD NO TAIL HAHAHAHAHA....

Okays lar i think i better go and rest... may MIA again for the nxt few days... :D

Why?

Is it impossible to please everyone?
I try so hard to help out, but no one understand all the shit that i ever go through...
So many times, i wish that death could be an understand to end this...
But so many times, i found another way out... a much more painful, yet meaningful way...
Why must this always happen to me?!
Why cant people just accept ME for who i am?

Does ANYONE at all understand the pain of having a knife stabbed STRAIGHT at your heart?
ANYONE at all?!
I have gone through so much in my life, and i don't even feel appreciated at all...
Is this how i have to spend the better half of my life?!

Or maybe i'm just expecting too much from everyone...
Maybe i should just shut up and just take in everything and lock everything into myself...

Just how long will it take for anyone to understand my pain...

TAYLOR SWIFT IN SINGAPORE OMFG

OMG OMG OMG


TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT TODAY....
BUT I CANT GO =(

Daddy dont let me go...
I wanna go to my room and just cry ='(

Taylor Swift:
COULD YOU PLEASE COME TO SINGAPORE AGAIN?!
I REALLY WANT TO GO TO YOUR CONCERT =(

O well, enough of my moaning and groaning about not able to go for the concert...

WAD HAPPENED TODAY:
I watched INCEPTION today lolz...
And then Koo Wen Kiat have this job at Resort World Sentosa.
And he said i could join him.
So i join him lor...
But now he say got to wait until tomorrow then see if have =.=

Haiz...
Today on Gumtree Singapore, cant even find one that is suitable...
O well...

And i have yet to upload pictures and finish something for my juniors...
I guess i better go and sleep now...
Tomorrow going to take photos again =D
Wish me luck!
I hope i catch something good =D

Lolz...
Okay thats all for now =D

o and btw, here is a link to TAYLOR SWIFT'S LIVE CONCERT PERFORMANCE IN SINGAPORE.

TAYLOR SWIFT - MINE
(LIVE AT SINGAPORE):





Wanna watch the video from here? Well, scroll down to the music library to stop the music and you can watch the video =D
Unfortunately, the video is not taken by me...
Its obviously from youtube...

TAYLOR SWIFT I WANT TO BE AT YOUR CONCERT........................
='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='( ='(

The 5th day of Lunar New Year

HI ALL =D

What a start to the week...
Lolz, I just watched "How to train your dragon" again!

Its just such a good movie!

Anyways, i plan to watch inception again tomorrow morning. =D
I want to understand the last part of the movie.
I want to find out if he did or did not escape from the dream world.

Aways thats for tomorrow.
Looks like i'm pretty ambitious tomorrow.

My To-Do-List for tomorrow:
- Watch Inception again
- Post up and open my exits column on this blog
- Start doing something, which i cant say, because its supposed to be a surprise.
- Try to find myself a dam job... =.=

So thats tomorrow.
What was happening for the past few days?
I lost a total of $8 and earned $7 at the end of the fourth day of the Lunar new year...
O well, so overall is -$1... Haiz
Thats not how you start the new year... But nvm its okay.
I guess i got to try my luck again next year. =D
Promised myself never to step into Marina Bay Sands no matter what...

So anyway, thats about it. =D

O there is one more thing, i went to the Japanese garden and Chinese Garden on the 4th of Feb.
Which is last friday.
We took a few pictures, actually quite a few.
I alone took about 100 pictures already lolz...
Yep. I will upload some of the pictures here, there ones i think are better, and the rest, including those here shall go onto facebook. =D
For all my friends to see.

Okays, thats all for now!

See you all tomorrow!

The past few days?

Wow!
How time flies!
It is already the fourth day of the lunar new year!
Well, i only have to say, that yesterday was fun!

First time i played Monopoly Deal!
And i realised that it is freaking fun!!!!!

Other then that, well nothing much really, except that i lost money on friday!
Yar! I was like in with $4 and end up losing them all!
I was playing poker by the way. =D

So like this lor!
Nothing much to say lar really.

Just that i had some very long days this past few days. =D
Cause my junior Zeng Jin gave me a URL to Jap Anime(is there other countries who creates anime? O.O)
And i have been watching Gundam SEED and Gundam SEED Destiny for the past few days a billion times. =D

BUT ITS DAM NICE TO WATCH LOR!

Seriously,

ITS DAM NICE TO WATCH LOR!
It taught me some values of life actually!

Its really a good anime, and not only that, the songs and so freaking nice as well!!!
I would really say that everyone should watch!
All the songs you all are hearing now?
They are all from Gundam SEED and Gundam SEED Destiny.
LOLZ.

Okays thats it for now!

Happy Chinese New Year 2011!

Happy Chinese New Year all!!!!

OMG THANK TO MY JUNIOR ZENG JIN, I FINALLY GOT TO WATCH GUNDAM SEED DESTINY AGAIN! OMG

SERIOUSLY I'M DAM HAPPY NOW, I DONT KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP!!!!

Well anyways, i look forward to wad is going to happen later. =D
I do hope that there is a game of poker to play later =D

Thats all for now =D

BTW: A new section is up here: "What Happens when..."
This section tells you roughly wad you would expect to see or rather, what you would not expect to see and how my website will turn out on your browser.
So if you find anything on this blog looking weird, refer to the section. It should answer some questions!

And also, i'm changing the song to "Kimi Wo Boku Niteru".
This is a song from Gundam SEED Destiny, which is where the picture in the background comes from.
Yes, it is The Strike Freedom!

OKay thats all!
Do continue to visit me! Thanks =D

Eve of Chinese New Year.

Eve of Chinese new year yar?

Well... Its should be very hyper....
But i feel very bored...
At home nothing to do at all.
Feel dam bored... So i'm like only mousehunt-ing and facebook-ing
Just simply Boring lifestyle.

Well thankfully, i went to school this morning.
Swiss Cottage i mean.
Went to watch their CNY Concert.
I have to say that the performance was very nice!
Those who are my friends on facebook, you may be to find some photoes on the concert =D
Should be fun haha =D

And today, as usual, we will have our family reunion dinner =D
YAY =D Thats something to look forward to today =D
Then after that, I shall try to play cabal for a while
And then it would be the staying up late thing lolz

Okay so thats all for now
I should post again later
See you all then =D

And to all chinese readers, Happy Chinese New Year =D

Eve of the Eve of Chinese New Year!

Hey all =D

Today nothing much lar =D

I went for band today!

O and then i took more pineapple tarts to school lolz!

And then some people greedy arh, like Lye Sheng Yang lolz

He took like two! OMG...

And Winston too...

lolz, anyways sorry to those who din get to eat!

So then after that there was the band practice as usual.

Sec ones do drill and the rest having band practice and yar.

Then after that i was watching the rehearsal for tomorrow's Swiss Chinese New Year Celebrations.

Its quite interesting =D

And since i'm going back to see the performance tmr, i look forward to it. =D

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, CHLEO IS SINGING! OMG

YOU KNOW CHLEO'S VOICE IS LIKE SO SO SO SO DAM NICE!

I know she will do well for sure!

Okay lar thats all for today.

Cos i wan catch the TV Show destination truth later at 10pm.

So i need to go and bathe and then do my 4-steps treatment and then i can watch.

Cos tmr i have to go swiss at 6.30am to help in something for Chleo...

LOLZ

OKAY SO SEE YOU ALL SOON =D

A day of joy =D

Hello all!

This morning i woke up yet again to a storm. =.=

I was like... O shit, how to get to the doctor.

Yes about the doctor.

He's not really a skin doctor i realised.

By the way, its Kin Mun Clinic if you want to know.

Yes. So i went there to see the doctor and see wad he could do about the pimples.

Apparently, he seemed to think that my face was not in a very very bad condition.

Nevertheless, he still told his nurse to give me 6 DIFFERENT face creams to use.

O.O I WAS LIKE... 6? Thats wad my mum do every morning...

And now i have to do it too?

OMG...

Well, the 6 creams have different ways of using...

That was very very confusing for someone who didn't even bother to take care of his skin just a few weeks ago...

So well, that was that.

6 different creams but a guarantee from the doctor that i'll see some result after only 2 weeks!

Now thats something i want to see happen.

I want to solve my pimple problems!!! NOW!!!!

So yar i'm going to give it a try.

Hope that it will work yar?

After the visit to Kin Mun Clinic, i went for a hair cut!

Lolz the barber was like complaining that my hair was so thick...

Well, wad do you expect.

I was very much rotting at home for the past two months...

So thats that...

LUNCH AT MAC! YAY =D

GOT TO EAT THE DOUBLE FISH-O-FILLET THING =D I WAS SO HAPPY =D

LOLZ....

Okay lar enough of the high-ness....

Now i really have to go sleep... or not i think i'll die...

O AND GUESS WAD?! IT STOP RAINING!

YAY!!!!

Okay bye.

I nid a nap...

NOW...

A long and rainy day, into the last day of the month...

Okay, so i guess its today already. =D

Good morning world.

Well, it seems like it has been years since i even posted something.

My last post was yesterday, but thats just some reopening post.

The last was on 23 feb 2009...

WOW! WHAT A LONG TIME!

Well, looking back at the year, you kinda realise that it was a hectic two years...

So lets do a reflection? =D

Year 2009

The start of the year was quite fine if i remember correctly...

Yes it was... Until my grandma fell down on one Sunday morning.

That threw the whole house into a mess that day.

But soon enough it was the whole family that was panicking.

My grandma was very old already.

If i remember correctly, she was 79 going 80 when she pass on.

Yes, she passed away shortly after having the fall...

I heard the doctors said that she broke a few rib bones.

That was it.

She struggled through the last two weeks of february and finally passed on, in late feb or march.

I couldn't really remember.

That was when my grades plunged...

I didn't have any energy... So i was like playing every time i got home...

I cant do anything else...

Then, exactly one week later, my grandpa passed away.

Exactly one week after my grandma.

I know, you all must be thinking, how could this happen.

Well, it did.

My grandma was on my father's side of the family, and my grandpa was on my mother's side of the family.

Pretty devastating for my family.

Thankfully i didn't have any siblings. Honestly.

Or not they would have suffered too...

I was a mess at that point.... But things got better =D

I tried to work hard in the second semester.

Obviously i din try hard enough... I was still pretty much failing...

O well... I guess thats about all....

The only other major thing was that Swiss Winds got...

Well i think i better not talk about that...

O the other thing! I know, i became the student conductor =D

Yar that was fun =D

It was fun conducting the band.

You could feel the music flowing inside you.

It was nice =D

Year 2010

So the secondary 4 year started yar?

Well. Fun actually...

Maths and A-maths was actually getting easier for me =D

Then there was Swiss Serenade.

And then sad to say, i didn't do very well in secondary 4 first semester actually...

So that was that...

Then Chinese O-level... =.=

OMG I WAS LIKE FREAKING OUT.... CHIONGING THROUGH EVERYTHING LAST MINUTE WAS NOT FUN AT ALL...

ON THIS NOTE, To all my juniors reading this.

PLEASE DO NOT EVER DO WAD I JUST DID.... WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE TO REVISE AND ITS GOING TO BE TOO LATE.... PLEASE, FOR THE SEC 3S STUDY, SEC 4S START YOUR REVISION LIKE NOW OKAY? YOU ALL CAN DO IT ONE I KNOW YOU ALL CAN =D

OKAY NOW....

Back to my story...

Yar then bla bla bla, through the june holi, i was revising.

Yes i was. Like reading through everything doing notes and stuff...

O and one more thing juniors:

DO YOUR OWN NOTES! IT HELPS MUCH BETTER THEN JUST READING YOUR TEACHER'S NOTES... AND IT WILL COME IN HANDY WHEN YOU ARE REVISING JUST ONE MONTH BEFORE O-LEVELS!!!

Redo your notes in the way you like it.

Make it your style.

It will be much easier for you to absorb when you start to panic.

So yar. For me, i did cue cards.

Squencing. It did help a lot. =D Because for those that i did the notes, i knew the content much more.

For pure geography students, it can be done with all the drawings and stuff, i even put examples on my cards...

Just that i din do for all my topics.... BIG FAT MISTAKE.....

So then O-LEVELS came....

Yar... I mean of course there was the prelims and stuff.... but o well...

And trust me. Everyone.

Once it starts, it goes, very fast.

I'm serious...

And on the last paper, you will be like, "omg omg 5 mins left 5 mins left!"

Then it will be, " OMG 1 MIN!!! 1 MIN TO FREEDOM AFTER 2 YEARS!!!"

Yar. Thats wad happened to me... LOLZ.

Well, i dun wan to talk about the dropping of chemistry... Not here...

Trust me everyone, if you can, don drop.

DON DROP!!! okay?

DON EVER DROP ANY SUBJECT!!!! UNLESS ITS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NECESSARY!

Yar... Cos every subject counts...

So then this year came.

RESULTS!!!!

Well, my O-level results were not really wad i wanted, but it was still fine i guess...

L1R4 16 and ELR2B2 13...

L1R4 was 11...

So yar...

AND TODAY =D

WOOHOO!!!! We got the posting results on wednesday =D

and i got into NP aerospace technology!!!! =D

My FIRST choice!!!

Yay!!!!

Haha i was super happy =D

So like this lor =D haha

Okay lar tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day for me...

SO now, i'm going to sleep =D

YAY =D first post of the year, and certainly not the last! =D

GOODNITE ALL =D

My blog is reopened!

Omg! I have been wanting to do this for the past two years!

Lolz. Do visit me again now! =D