End of week, start of another...

To all my readers, trust me, i have thought long and hard before posting this...

So anyways, so much happened during the past week.

Things that i really hope isn't happening are happening...
Even i myself screwed up a few times.
And then sometimes you will ask yourself, hey what am i doing?
Perhaps i should not even do anything at all.
Maybe that would be the best way to let my juniors learn things themselves.
Then again, you come to think about how much you yourself suffered when you didn't have seniors to teach you how to do things...
How lost you felt when you start to take charge and then realize, "O shit, i don't know how to do things what am i going to do."
And u think to yourself, "come on, you don't want ur juniors to feel all that pain..."
The pain one goes through when you got to literally start from scratch.
That pain, its just so... painful.
Yes, it hurt me, to see my junior getting scolded from their teacher, because deep down, no matter how much i try to tell myself that its not my fault, i know that i still have a part to play in whatever they are going through now.
Sometimes i just feel like telling them, "Hey forget it, let me do things, at least if anything goes wrong, i will be the one to get scolded, not you all..."
But i know that they will never learn that way...

So many times already, i have asked myself, what the hell am i doing?
Why is it that of all the people in my batch, i keep going back whenever i have time?
Poly life isn't that simple at all, and JC life, i know isn't better.
I know very well that we all are tight for time and often don't have the time to go back.
But still, i realized that i'm the only one who loves going back...
True, like what Mr Chew said, perhaps its my passion for music, my passion to conduct keeps me going.
But is that the only reason?

Honestly, its not.

Like i have said so many times, my juniors keeps that, spark going in me.
And my desire to try to make things better for my juniors, drives me on as well.
Really, it hurts when you see all the pain your juniors are going through.
And the reason is simply because you know that you have not taught them well.
Yes, i have to admit that i did not do a good job in teaching the sec 4s 2011 of Swiss Winds.
Perhaps it was because i weren't taught by anyone...
But i that did not give me the excuse of not doing a good job...
So, to any of my juniors reading this, i'm sorry.
I know i didn't do good job.
Perhaps i did a good job in running the band, but i'm really very sorry i didn't teach you properly...

And to the sec 3s now, please, find your spark!
I believe in you all, i really do.
But you all need to FIND THAT SPARK!
Then you all can do well!!!
I know it will be tough, it was tough for my batch.
But nevertheless, we pull STRAIGHT through!
And if we can, you all can too!
I know you all can do a good job!
Remember, first step is to believe you can do it,
Then u must find out wad you are doing wrong.
And don't forget to correct your mistakes.
Anything you all don't know, don't ever be afraid to ask!
I will always be there to try to help u all to the best of my ability!!! :D