A Pathetic Realisation

Past few days have been horrible...
I'm losing everything again.

I feel insane, lost, afriad and fearful of the future.
I don't know what will happen to me, i have lost confidence in myself, i no longer know who i am anymore.
I'm even scared of myself... Such a loser.
I'm just a pathetic lonely guy, no girlfriend to love, no friends to hang out with, no one to really share my problems and my fear.

And then i ask myself why i am in this situation.
All the answers come flowing into me.
Its simple. I'm a pathetic guy.
I fail at love, i dont dare to make new friends and rather stay in my own comfort zone, and those closest around me can't be there for me all the time.
I can't possibly expect my closest friends to only have one friend.

I'm such a worthless, pathetic loner.
I make stupid mistakes that i should not be making.
I create problems that are non-existent be talking to myself too much and thinking too much.
I pull myself into depression without even knowing.
Losing weight, losing sleep, losing interest in life.
I might as well just die.

I often ask myself this question

And i think i already know the answer.
It's definitely "No".
Without even asking, already in my head i know there are people who wish i could just disappear out of their lives.

Even if i have people who still want to see me around, i feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Someone who cannot do anything right. Someone that does not deserve to be breathing the air on this Earth. Someone who deserves to be in hell...

Worthless piece of shit...